we broke up and he got another girl pregnant
If this is the case then your friend is in the clear because he has no legal responsibility any more. Do you want a man who doesnt want to be in a childs life because it means being with you? Placement deals with where they are physically. My inclination would be to run away from this guy as fast as you can. Two are very small, less than six months. You have no idea what youre talking about, with regard to child support. bittergaymark I know youve been in a tough situation and the fact that you and your daughter came out of it the amazingly awesome people you are shows that all a kid needs is an amazing mother who wants to provide for her kid at whatever cost to herself. If a guy *does not* want to be a father, he shouldnt be having sex with women unless he knows, for sure, they have a similar attitude when it comes unintended pregnancy. Ah, nothing like some good ol Internet fighting. It merely reduces the chances. In order to build trust, the person must be trustworthy. Francine His anger is unwarranted unless its directed at himself. I appreciate the points youre trying to make. April 10, 2012, 4:51 pm. In fact, it may not even be anger you feel, but hurt or you feel threatened by this pregnancy. I know exactly what child support means, and you are discussing the post-birth situation, where there actually is a child who actually needs support. But then, I guess I like giving people the benefit of the doubt. My only real advice is along the lines with what the other posters have already said. As a woman, you have control over that. Oh wow, that was longer than I expected. If the baby mama wants to keep the baby, its her decision. Mother hits hard times and ends up going on either Medicaid or Temporary Assistance/Welfare. Its when I disagree that I usually feel I want to write a comment. I have never heard anybody going through an unwanted pregnancy say they didnt take care. Yes, it would be nice if he were eager to become a parent. He can take all the risks he wants its his choice. Because one of the known outcomes is happening to him and hes pissed at someone else. Then, when you decided to get back together he wasnt so sure he wanted to be in a relationship with you. However, hey, feel free to pretend its still 2000 BC. It's painful to witness when you're still in love with a person, but one of the most common reasons why a person would jump into a new relationship right after a breakup is to mask the pain of it all. Oh, may be you should marry him and fantasize what kind of fun he is having whenever hes late coming home, or fearful he would leave you when you, like that woman, passed 40; or be told to get rid of your baby who is inconvenient to him. I dont know what he told her within those two minutes but obviously it worked cause now yeah. 4) The boyfriend, especially given his age (and that this cant be blamed on youthful impulsiveness), doesnt look the best in this scenario. Its probably best hes not in the kids life anyway. April 9, 2012, 5:13 pm. The states dont advertise this. What would you tell your girlfriend or sister if they were in the same situation is always a good go-to. If he doesnt want to have children that much, yes, he should be the one to do everything to prevent it. Waitplease have an abortion and i prefer you have an abortion aredifferent? Actually no. If she did not use protection with him, or ask him to get tested when they got back together, that is no fault of his, imo. It amazes me how people can say things like That whore slept with my boyfriend! and keep a straight face. Sorry for any confusion! bittergaymark You dont have an obligation to be faithful to an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend! Takeoff Shot in Head and Torso, According to Coroner Report, Aaron Carter Pulled Over On Suspicion Of DUI While Driving RV. Im not saying he did. But even though I led you to believe I didnt want to become pregnant, Im going to have the baby anyway and thereby obligate you to two decades of support.. In the case where a woman goes to prison because she raped a kid, you can bet theyre going to hit her up for child support too. Choose. He begged me not to go, but I left anyway because I didnt think things would change and I wanted him to see what life was like without me in hopes hed run after me. Because we stayed together, she caused him a lot of . The man has NOTHING to do with any child creation. Yet when it came to her most recent boyfriend, John . Im so glad SOMEONE pointed that out. Its a sad situation when an unplanned pregnancy happens between two individuals that arent committed to each other, let alone two individuals who actively dislike each other. Parasites are all the same. You brought up the issue of trust and wanting to build trust. April 9, 2012, 5:05 pm. But she can also at any time change her mind and he has no recourse. Hes not obligated to be there emotionally, especially if he made it clear to the woman that he did not want this baby in the first place. April 9, 2012, 10:34 pm. It is my biggest pet peeve when a woman blames the other woman for her boyfriends stupid actions. BGM- multiple people disagreeing with you is not necessarily a sign of needless solidarity that makes you sound paranoid. If men abandon a child, you have a child with needs that take precedent over fairness to the abandoning parent. Except that hes not. So he had no obligation to her whatsoever. Oh, good lord. What if she believes than an abortion is murder? And seriously what is with people having sex with people they cant stand clearly you could stand them long enough to bang them. If she is a crappy mom the kid will be used to interfer unless she can find some sucker that wont let her. Go on about it all you want though. Before getting back together with your ex, maybe you should consider strongly whether or not you want to be with the kind of person whos angry that someone didnt abort in order to alleviate HIM of responsibility. You mean, a man shouldnt be able to decide to throw money at his child, but never once be involved whatsoever in the childs life? The baby is coming, the product of a two month relationship. Idiots like the guy in the letter, dont. The you made your choice when you had sex argument goes both ways. I wont go into the reasons they came to this, (very long, and quite personal, story), but its entirely possible that if a women gets pregnant and decides to keep the baby though the father would prefer she abort, he DOES have the option to waive his parental rights and duties to the child and thus not be legally responsible for child support. John Rohan April 10, 2012, 4:35 pm. Sure sure you have sex, theres always the possibility of a child. It only says he asked her to. Baby, our apartment isnt big enough for a baby. Ill weigh in on this If its a guy I dont know well enough regarding his sexual prowess, no way am I going down on him. If the person who carried the child to term (woman) wants to turn the kid over to adoptive parents to care for it, then the responsibilitys on them. Here are the 5 signs that he/she is in one: They started the relationship before they ended it (or as they were ending it) with you.. but he does not have the option to opt out entirely, which is something the pregnant woman can do. Because she accidentally got pregnant with his child? I'm still contemplating because if my boyfriend finds out, I'm afraid he'll leave me. If your dead-beat ex wants know part that is HIS decision. What is he supposed to do to prove hes not scum? Also, if the other woman keeps the baby, this is going to provide significant insight into her boyfriends character that will help her make her decision. Your biological child. Essence may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Well, hey, point out the flaws in what I said, then. I just felt a huge blow of betrayal because I was waiting for him to talk to me again. I hate a society that even makes this an issue. And realize that when you have sex, you could very well get someone pregnant. Well, the law is schizophrenic. The law provides that the parent taking care of the child is entitled to support from the other parent. And its not because either sex is evil or worse than the other. February 6, 2017, 4:03 pm, Simalar to me.. we fell inlove from schol at 15 we kiss at 16 sex at 21 we separated for 5mths he saw another girl and she lie told him she was pregnant..she moved in his parents house..i said goodbye he came begging me ..he dont love her.tears tears .. the next month her period came her lie came in the openshe never left ..i have since moved on ..25yrs to dated he still beging me to come backi played a game with him recently ..i said i would leave my husband would u leave your wifeto be with mehe said yes yesdo u have money to buy a house for me like what u did for her.the silence was deafing.i hang up the phone.. playersmove on leave him alone, lets_be_honest Seriously, that is your interpretation of the male thought process? Men abandon and fail to pay for children constantly. You need to be consistent in your line of reasoning.. thus why I said troll label aside. Aim for the face. Steve Kellmeyer Only men-children would not use a condom in this situation. But if you are uninterested in a relationship with him because of his newfound drama then walk away sister. When I was young, but old enough to ask, my mom always told me that my biological father just wasnt ready to be a daddy. And, like an immature asshole, he decides he doesnt want to own up to his responsibility. The laws are imperfect because the biology of men and women is different. He found someone relatively fast and quick, and jumped in the bed with her. April 9, 2012, 11:08 am. Thank God for the laws in place protecting children against men like you. Well technically for me it was the way he reacted to his potential child and nothing about the way he treated the LW or the woman in the letter. I think difference is ensuring that the child is cared for. This dude intends to contribute to the childs life financially, but in no other ways, which seems vastly unfair to the child. Other times, breakups are not so obvious, and that can leave you questioning your decision. Hes decided on what hes going to do, and it does not involve you. Reframed to show the immaturity of the argument: And most important of all, whats all this talk of ASKING CUSTOMERS to order fries with that? Because women are always unfairly saddled with the burden of child birth, we will always be the ones who make the choices about whats going on in our own bodies. I mean, seriously. But I almost laughed out loud when I read untrappable. April 9, 2012, 1:57 pm. BUT. he said this is not gonna ruin us, ReginaRey I totally understand. When he didnt come chasing after you when you moved you knew it was over and done with. reader, marissa0916+, writes (26 August 2015): A I can agree with you that the decision about which medical proceedure she under goes after that point is totally hers., Is it any wonder that 40% of the kids born today are bastards?. Its very comforting to hear and I hope to do as good of a job as your mother did. Originally i had used much more crass language and forgot to delete the apology ooops! If a guy wants absolutely to avoid becoming a father, he is responsible for using additional BC or not having sex with women if he doesnt know what their stance on unintended pregnancy would be. him: I would prefer if you had an abortion. And it wont be you for very long. Anyway, he ended the relationship with her and surprise, shes knocked up. If he wore a condom and if she was on the pill, hes an idiot because what? A Happy Life I agree that condoms provide significantly better protection than not wearing anything. April 9, 2012, 4:51 pm. You dont ask women to have abortions unless youre scum. Ahtrue, I reread the letter, and it did say ask not order as I remembered. In the state I live in, you can leave a baby (or even child I think) in a church or hospital if you do not want the child and you will not get in any trouble for it. Addie Pray And fools are welcome to the horror you and your ilk inflict upon them. He sounds like bad news. Thats true I figured there was enough speculation on dickish behavior Id just float a more tame scenario by. I think shes nothing but a little scroat. Now, I highly doubt the LWs boyfriends baby mother to be is psychotic as my friends former hook up. April 10, 2012, 6:21 pm, And yet men still keep having sex with us. However, I do find your mindset to be telling: And yet you still have sex with us The implication being that if a man has sex with a woman, they should be prepared to pay dearly for it for the rest of their lives. caitie_didnt Imagine the following scenarios. iseeshiny I know you may not have that much faith in women based on your comments (here and on previous posts) but just look at what the women on this page have written. And because a mans physical committment to the pregnancy ends after coming, the woman gets to make the call. iseeshiny SpaceySteph February 1, 2014, 11:38 am. . My mother taught me better than that. reader, confused.i.is+, writes (25 January 2008): All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft. If a woman wanted to choose to terminate the child, would she be less of a real woman for not stepping up to the responsibility? This is my question for you. I just found out that someone he had slept with before we got back together is pregnant. I hope you make sure he gets tested for STIs before you sleep with him again. Thats the difference. Now, again, I dont see why it is so hard to let him go, and why you cant move on. Still, if I were the LW and I saw my newly reunited BF acting this way about his soon to be born child, Id get the heck out of there. On the other hand, the intelligent men are just avoiding commitment and having fun at YOUR expense. The father would divorce himself from the child and any obligations to the mother. He cant force her to get an abortion, and she cant force him to be in the kids life. But I think shes tried to trap him and hes untrappable.. Not necessarily. The vast majority of parents who have at least a rough acknowledgement of their paternity/maternity have joint custody even if the guys a deadbeat. Malarky. All Im advocating is the addition of a requirement that the woman has made a good-faith effort to contact the father-to-be once she found out that she was pregnant and that he didnt opt out of support.
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