when you don't like someone but don't know why
I believe that having even one of the six traits is enough for a person not to be liked because each of these qualities is unpopular in our society for a different reason. You will never find an introvert sharing the story of their life to someone they just met. Too much interaction leads to emotional exhaustion also known as the introvert hangover. Why not join the Elephant community, become an Elephriend? These sorts of things may have caused you to put a black mark against all of humankind. Whenever you dream about someone you don't know, it might be a message from the universe that you are about to meet a new friend. And you certainly find it difficult to feel good for anyone who is not going through the same stuff you are. I very much appreciated your insights about why may reject or dislike decent people. Someone to go places with, etc but not the love that many married couples feel for each other. Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. Unfortunately, being popular and well-liked is the key to being successful. "But if your partner is consistently letting you down or not spending quality time with you to be with others, this can be problematic." It's hard to trust that your partner is reliable and. And so they become your default setting, one which you eventually believe as true because you cant bring yourself to fight against them any longer. For more information regarding how to build and maintain human relationships, refer to The Like Switch. They try to exclude you from the group 8. It is one of the ways of socializing and making others believe that they are similar to you. Then you can Heart an article, boosting its "Ecosystem" score & helping your favorite author to get paid. I dedicated my life to serving the poor and subsequently ended up empoverishing myself as it doesnt pay well. Watch him carefully.) Apathy is a feeling of indifference marked by a lack of concern, interest, or enthusiasm. I once dated someone I had "discussions" with all the time. Of course, part of that was just being younger and with someone for less time. Since introverts and extroverts have different perspectives, they view each other as different and thus might be naturally predisposed to dislike one another when they first meet. If it's none of the above, there are tons of other reasons why you might date someone aside from romance or future-minded growth with them. I've got no one to believe in. It has taken probably half my life to figure this out. When I was young I was treated so nice. phrases. Rather than admit this to yourself and others, you hide your true feelings by saying, Its okay, I dont really like people anyway.. Be cautious of this bias, as it will only make work more toxic for you. It sounds simple, but does being around the person you're dating make you happy? And why was I beating myself up about not getting the right feelingslike that is somehow my fault? I dont mean to hurt feelings. Why dont people like those who are different? Why are you judging them so harshly?. Manage Settings Thanks for this article I found it insightful and validating for an ethical , introvert who likes to consider ideas. Everyone just seems so vain to you. But you can do this. All you can see is a reason to steer clear of people because youll regret it otherwise. Its strange being alone now after living the first part of my life with so much attention. Im a strong, independent woman who chose to raise a child on my own but no one talks to me, not even my own family. Maybe we were enemies in that lifetime. However, its true that people tend to underestimate the good qualities of introverts. they are no longer worth liking. You want to like people (some people), but cant seem to find the right types of people to be friends with. Evaluate what you need from your friends. Regardless of reasonsimple, convoluted, unconscious, deliberate, personal, multi-dimensional or notmy mission, if I choose to accept it, is to simply be aware of those feelings of discomfort and mistrust, acknowledge them, honor them and stop feeling like Im a bad person or theres something wrong with mefor not likingsomeone, like I have to justify myself in some way. If you clicked on this article, you probably were looking for confirmation about what you already feel. As we get older and our lives change, so do the people in it. Allow All Cookies. But I saw something beneath the cracks of his personality that I couldn't . And if you dont allow them in, the chances of them being able to hurt you are far lower. The thing that would be wrong is pretending otherwise, and leading someone on in the process. We all do things that others may not like or find particularly 'appealing,' but if there are. But Im here to tell you this: if people dont like you, its not always a bad thing. Youve already taken the first step. You Don't Conform It's natural for human beings to like and trust what is familiar to them. A big breath I hadnt realized I was holding, whooshed out of me; my shoulders dropped. Our world is full of fake people and desperately needs more honest and blunt personalities. I see this person in my social sphere of acquaintances only occasionally, and I am uncomfortable with this person always. No, introverts dont inherently dislike other people. Your wish would be to meet someone, be instant good friends, and then have them in your life to see as and when you wished, but probably quite infrequently. Casually ending the conversation with "I don't know" or "It's just not working out" cannot be a reason for not liking a person. If you are constantly obsessing and talking about them with friends wondering if they're right for you, or what they're thinking, or what your friends think it's a sign you might be looking for permission to leave, or are working too hard to rationalize the relationship to yourself. What's wrong is staying with someone when you feel this way, because even if you think you're hiding it well, trust me, they can feel it. How to know if someone doesn't like you? When others lie to you or try to use you for their purposes, you will not tolerate their behaviors. All rights reserved. The slow fade. Little things just get on your nerves and taint the way you feel about people. It's your subconscious telling you to get the hell out there as soon as possible. We are mistaken for being conceited, rude, or just plain antisocial. They will never allow themselves to get close enough to you to touch you. Welcome to elephant's ecosystem. If you dislike people, you dont allow them in. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. No matter what, keep speaking the truth. 175 other terms for don't know- words and phrases with similar meaning. Introverts think before they speak and often pause between thoughts to plan the next thing they want to say. 4. Without subsequent meetings, the person who has been judged negatively does not have an opportunity to change the mind of the person who judged them. But if you dislike people, chances are you are an introvert. But, all the points raised in this article do apply to me. So instead of trying to get social acceptance, put effort into these two things: I like people who dont need everyone to like them. It is informative, thought provoking, and well written. You dont want to get up close and personal. Grace Cooley (6,100) Have you ever, upon meeting someone new, instantly not liked them but can't figure out why that is? The most Breathtaking Description of Death I have ever Heard. If we can, it rids us of living a life full of unpredictable excitement in our journey to a happily ever after. Administrative expenses eat up as much as 25 percent of total hospital expenses we pay formuch higher than in other countries.". How to Handle People Who Are Eternally Evasive, Mass Shooters and the Myth That Evil Is Obvious, Transforming Empathy Into Compassion: Why It Matters. We will withdraw and may not pick up your calls or accept your invitations for some time. If someone doesn't like you, they might try to hide their feelings with a forced smile. They appear to be unconcerned about your suffering. Humans are social animals. How we disempower ourselves by focusing on the other person when we don't like someone. Acknowledge where they're right and add something to it. But the takeaway message is precious just be yourself, there is nothing wrong in it, the more you kick yourself for not being liked, the more miserable your life would turn out to be and theres no golden rule to be liked and even if you impersonate a different character for the sake of being liked, nothing will work out in your favour and it might even have serious consequences. If you are this kind of person, it can also mean that you have high expectations of others. words. Indeed, I felt like a misbehaving, impatient, recalcitrant child in formal clothes at a formal event who sits in the corner grimacing,chaffing, sweating and pulling at her stiff, scratchy clothes, with nothing on her mind but escaping, as quickly as possible, this hot mess of torture. They are deeply passionate about the specific niche of their interest, which may be unpopular or difficult to understand for those around them. Even the greatest geniuses in history had to go through this, including Nikola Tesla and Albert Einstein. A professional can also provide some tools that you can use to challenge some of the reasons listed above. You dont ask yourself who the person is behind the photos and what interesting things they may do or think. Maybe we just have different ideas about what constitutes comfortable, appropriate boundaries. Introverts typically begin their day with fully charged social batteries, but social interactions drain them. You can say "I feel hurt that you don't like me and I'd like to know what I can do to make things better between us." Method 3 Performing Damage Control 1 Explain yourself to people that matter. I am never doing nothing. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence. You think, if they have a problem with someone, they should just confront that person and deal with it. Many of the warning signs were small and subtle but they were there every time, and if I had felt less guilty about respecting and listening to them, I might have had a bit more fun dating instead of holding onto relationships that I knew, in my gut, weren't working. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Grace Cooley is a Certified Hypnotherapist and Registered Psychotherapist in Ft. Collins, CO, USA. Related Article: 6 Major Signs You're a Micromanager and How to Avoid Being One Tell Them The Exact Reasons. Your free account lets you heart articles, follow authors, comment, Boost, and support Elephant's writers. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. If you worry that your friends and family secretly don't think they're good enough for you, even if they say otherwise, you're probably projecting. 2 The Cute Stuff Isn't Cute Anymore. But in fact, this is a sign that you aren't that into them. But there is also another aspect of being a non-conformist. I tell them they dont have to figure out in their heads why they feel that way. For this reason, many people dont like introverts and favor more open and easygoing folks. I asked, Have you ever not liked someone, because of the feeling you get from them, but have no real reason not to like them? Me me me! Join & get 2 free reads. After all, no one likes to be challenged or feel intellectually inferior. Wonderful article, thank you, but would you be willing to correct this false statement? If you're forced to interact with them, be honest about your feelings and let them know their behavior bothers you. I can't cope with your smoking habit anymore. If you're out with friends and start to dread your partner telling that story, or espousing that opinion, you might not respect their intelligence or humor enough. It just seems so utterly pointless to you. Every single point here applies to me. Keep up with Azelle on Instagram and azelle-lee.com 25,818 This quote by Bob Marley sums it up perfectly: The problem is that people are being hated for being real and loved for being fake. A misanthrope may be shy of course, but he may also be confident, even arrogant. When the pent-up frustration reaches a certain point, the frustrated introvert may explode with a litany of past transgressions. Be yourself genuinely, if people dont like you who cares! By god you cant stand to engage in any form of small talk. Are You an Introvert, a Highly Sensitive Person, or Both? When a person articulates an idea, they are less likely to change their minds because they must first admit that they were initially wrong. By continuing to use this website, you consent to the use of cookies in accordance with our Cookie Policy. The Phone is an Intrusive Disruption It is an external presence that breaks into both the physical space and more abstractly the place in which the mind finds itself. I did this at the urging of a friend who disagrees with me and tries to convince me that this person is totally trustworthy. Things never got too heated, and at first, I took this as a good sign. Strong personalities are often intimidating. Extroverts, on the other hand, may see introverts as quiet, nerdy, insecure, and socially inept. But here are 15 weird signs you're just not as into it you can watch out for nonetheless. Tomorrow may or may not come, live in the moment, because we are each responsible for ourselves and our actions. Like some incessant weed, it doesnt matter how many times you challenge these thought patterns, they seem to keep coming back. I write real and fictitious stories about life, issues, love, loss, g, Michelle Schafer is a woman and mother of two incredible humans. One has to like and be liked to get on in Life. In fact, there may be some reasons behind it that reveal powerful qualities of your personality. Yeah, me too. Lists. People lack discrimination and vote on their feelings rather than the facts about a canditate do they have integrity, have they demonstrated statesmanship, strength of character are they qualified? But even though people can fake a smile and ta. However, that's not realistic. This may relate back to your introverted nature and/or the possibility that you are a low-energy person. It's completely normal. Why do extroverts frustrate introverts? Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you find ways to like people more and build meaningful relationships. Thank you f for the article. If you are an introvert, be sure that the right people will like and appreciate you. Introverts are less likely to outwardly express their feelings. You know when someone means what they say and when its just fake nicety. Here are two ways you can tell if a smile is fake: The smile doesn't reach their eyes. I dont hate themI just feel better when theyre not around. Charles Bukowski, Barfly. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Learning Mind is a blog created by Anna LeMind, B.A., with the purpose to give you food for thought and solutions for understanding yourself and living a more meaningful life. Anna LeMind is a psychology enthusiast who holds a bachelor's degree in social sciences. . Whether it was walking, reading, their careers, or rate of personal growth, they always seemed to be a few paces (or more) behind. If we really like somebody, then of course we are going to get nervous when around them, because getting rejected by them is going to hurt us so much more than if we get rejected by someone we don't like. Here's to you and your temper. You didn't step out of line and you weren't rude or obnoxious. You may start to think that there is something wrong with you. Forced communication will only bring you unhappiness and overwhelm. I would like to have one true friend because I have telling my daughter that Im the friend nobody likes. Little things just get on your nerves and taint the way you feel about people. When you refuse to tolerate certain behaviors or to take advantage of others, you choose a difficult path. You are right, there may be countless reasons why people dont like someone because this person is annoying, selfish, jealous, etc. Maybe people dont like you because you are a jerk. Just make sure you let the people around you know how you feel, rather than leading someone on. adjectives. Touching is a good sign; dating may be next, and becoming partners may follow. Well, I say you probably shouldn't be dating someone long-term if the length or their hair or beard makes a substantial difference in how you feel towards them. If someone annoys you, just don't interact with them. And you dont consider the things they may be struggling with either. Obviously, always being angry is a clear sign that things aren't working. Hey, thanks so much for reading! After having the harsh realization that my current relationship is literally the only relationship I've been fully into, I've been reflecting a bit on the more subtle signs I too often tried to ignore in my early and mid 20s, when I was dating people I was less compatible with. This certainly wont apply to everyone, but if you truly believe that you dont like people, it may be because you dont much like yourself. I love my family. When a person likes you, they unconsciously tend to mirror your actions, body language, or even your voice. Have you ever met someone for the first time and thought, I dont like you, and I dont know why? The answer could be simple as you are an introvert and the person you just met is an extrovert. I have had my heart broken so many times by the people that I love. But I once dated someone whom I ceased being genuinely attracted to when he shaved or grew his hair out too long. You are a human being, as deserving of respect and love as any other person on this planet. Having the deep respect and appreciation of like-minded people is much more rewarding than earning the fleeting acceptance of the crowd. In contrast, if someone doesn't like you, they are going to hold off on physically touching you. Its impossible anyway. Sign up (or log in) below No. Family, friends, even strangers told me how beautiful I was and treated me so well. How do you tell the difference between momentary, fleeting feelings of doubt, and deeper, more lasting ones that indicate there is a bigger problem in the relationship namely that you don't actually like them? "Crossing arms can be a sign that someone is closed off or not wanting to receive what you are giving to them," Craig told INSIDER. You know you've done nothing wrong to a person. Emotionally Unavailable. There seems to be a neediness or desperation or something similar that I find overwhelming coming from this person. I mentioned my confusion to a friendwho also happens to be a preschool teacher of over 30years. Synonyms for Don't know. (People assume a guy doesn't really like a girl if he doesn't talk to her, but sometimes that could just mean he's very nervous to talk to YOU but has no trouble talking to other girls. Except you can't learn to like someone. sentences. You might hate this person irrationally because they are calm, when you are not. You see these as downright stupid choices and it annoys the hell out of you to watch people make them. Benching. Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano. 11. But then again, you might feel great and not lonely at all. If that doesn't work, you can figure out ways to distance yourself or end the friendship. Neither do we open up to people easily. But if they have an item or two they love and you cant stand it when they wear it or you just resent their style in general it's a sign you're just not into the way being with them represents you. This is a horrible feeling, but it's an important one to listen to. They get jealous when you succeed in a task 4. You can find ways to like certain people. Stranger dangerdoesnt really make much sense, because most kids are hurt by people they knowclose or extended family, or friends of the family, so I teach them to pay attention to what they feel in here, she pointed to the middle of her chest. We should all talk to our friends, but if they're getting sick of hearing about your relationship, it's probably a sign that you're working too hard to stay in it. If youre struggling with something right now, it can taint your entire view of humanity. Maintaining an erroneous notion, such as a first impression, causes less anxiety than admitting an error and adopting another position. While this attitude is powerful, it can be easily misunderstood and push people away. Even if I'm doing 'nothing in particular', that is something. Flaunting My 50s: 24 Things Time has Taught Me. | "Elephant Journal" & "Walk the Talk Show" are registered trademarks of Waylon H. Lewis, Enterprises. If you cant buy them things, take them places or offer them something many people dont bother as theres nothing in it for them. This page contains affiliate links. Hi, Ive read ur article and I felt like someone read my mind.Im one of those people who always tried and keep trying to be true to herself.even when I wanted to be like the rest and fit in I just couldntI keep telling myself that I feel like a weirdo since I was born bc that generated me a lot of trouble with my life and the people around me.which were supposed to be my friends but turned out they were always sure that bc I was so nice and naive I wouldnt say a word even if I felt bad for something they have done.and now its been like 3 years thats just my bf and me.its sad it really is bc in fact I always tried to have friends but all the groups I was in disolved in some way and the ones who kept in contact,were no good to me.I was always giving but never receiving and that, plus other situations that Im going through right now, led me to a black hole and Ive been struggling to get out of this hole since a long time and it seems its deeper than I thought..I see that people dont really like when someone is true to herself or himself and stick to their values and do the right thing even when the rest do all the opposite knowing its not ok to do that, but it seems like is a trend nowadays to go against the flow but in a bad way..not giving a shit about how the other person feels.its really hard to understand why people are like that.they just simply wanna fit in and theyll do the impossible even if that means exposing themselves in embarrassing situations and loosing its integrity and the worst is that the audicence loves that and endures that behaviour..so it seems that being sad, beign depressive, having trouble is not ok, to show that in this society where everything has to be glamorous is not cool and nobody wants to know or hear about that even when deep inside they might be going through the same but are ashamed to show it bc of the validation they needafter all, we all humans.but it seems that some of us arent. Disclosure: this page contains affiliate links to select partners. Thank you for this article it definitely help me too. However, if you find yourself communicating with them daily, even via a short line of text or a lengthy phone call, maybe you like them. There is a couple in our neighborhood that fit this perfectly. Liking the person you're with is the minimum requirement. She went on to briefly explain that this was the same way she lives her life. Be an adult!. Because you focus on your own flaws, you tend to look for the flaws in others too. Those who refuse to participate in this never-ending game of hypocrisy. (Which, in this case, may the exit.) should I change?, no, you have given me a clear vision people will not like or their ego is hurt when we tell them the reality. Chances are you will battle feelings such as this your entire life. Its been depressing me as I always wonder why people seem to avoid me now. In your eyes, you see everyone making bizarre choices day in and day out. One of the ways I knew I was fully into my relationship is that whenever I look at my partner from afar, my heart swells a little. You might find that this person that you barely know is extremely funny, charming, strong, humble, and captivating. Have you ever had this experience? Keep cherishing your unique qualities and focus on finding your tribe rather than on being liked by everyone. They will want to get to know you on a deep level. Without question. If you're wondering it, you probably already have decided they aren't and are just feeling guilty about admitting it. idioms. Unless you're polyamorous or non-monogamous, perhaps the clearest sign you just don't feel the way about them anymore is when the idea of them being in a relationship with someone else doesn't bother you or maybe it even fills you with relief, as Alessandra Conti previously told Elite Daily. And as an introvert, you feel drained by excessive interaction with people and the mental stimulation it requires. I've always been ambitious and moved quickly, and I felt that being with someone slower might help balance me out. Every time they spoke or I looked over at this person, I asked myself, Now what is it, again, about this person that is so very horrible, Grace? Quite the opposite is true there is something wrong with our society that discards such personalities because they refuse to adopt its shallow values. Such a tendency can serve as a filter through which a persons future words and actions are judged. Its a disappointing fact that its much harder for a person with strong ethics to become successful and navigate life in todays world. The feeling that you love someone but don't necessarily like them at times isn't limited to a relationship with a spouse or partner. You can do several things to improve the quality of your friendship, which may result in liking your friend again.
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